Hook: I thought I had reached the bottom—until I realized I could still fall further.
The first few days passed without structure, blending together into something shapeless.
“What day is it?” I asked one morning, staring at my phone.
It didn’t matter.
Sleep became inconsistent, arriving late and leaving early.
“Try again,” I muttered at 3 a.m., staring at the ceiling.
Mornings lost urgency.
“No meetings. No deadlines,” I said. “Just… time.”
I opened job boards out of habit.
“Let’s fix this,” I told myself.
Listing after listing filled the screen.
“5+ years experience… leadership… specialized skills…”
“Right,” I sighed. “Of course.”
Every role felt slightly out of reach.
“You’re not enough for this,” I translated silently.
I applied anyway.
“Submit. Submit. Submit.”
No responses came.
My savings became a daily checkpoint.
“That number’s getting smaller,” I said.
Expenses felt sharper now.
“Do I need this?” became a constant question.
Friends called occasionally.
“Hey, everything good?” one text read.
I stared at it.
“Yeah, just busy,” I replied.
A lie, but an easier one.
Conversations felt like effort.
“I’ll explain later,” I told myself.
My confidence began to shift.
Not suddenly—slowly.
“Maybe they were right,” I thought.
I replayed the meeting again.
“You missed something.”
“You should have seen it coming.”
Each replay added nothing new.
One night, I opened my bank app again.
“Okay… this is serious.”
I stared at the number longer than usual.
The reality felt heavier this time.
“This isn’t temporary.”
The thought stayed.
It didn’t leave.
“You’re not at the bottom yet,” I said quietly.
And that realization shifted something deeper.
Because it meant one thing.
There was still further to fall.
And no clear way to stop it.
That uncertainty settled in completely.
Heavy. Persistent.
Real.
“Now what?” I asked again.
Still no answer.
